What? I need to sleep somewhere.
Not today assholes. Not today.
Attention Mary Rambin et al: This is how you do a (fake) sleeping post. Word up.
Another day of business comes to a close. And by “business” I mean walking across the keyboard while my roommates are typing pretty important emails or IMs. 555555555555555.
What I don’t understand is why people feel the need to take pictures of me at inopportune moments. Fuckers.
Guys, I think I might have Pica. I will eat anything. I’m not kidding. The other day, I was licking my roommate Josh’s foot like a slathered up rib bone.
Rude
Look Taylor, there’s no need to go discussing my past transgressions over the internet and shit. You don’t see me telling people about the numerous methed up, toothless hookers you’ve been caught with in various alleys and abandoned buildings, but I guess I have just a little bit more class and tact than you.
That being said, you know I love you. A movie or two Sunday?
I have no idea. Blame Taylor, he made it. That’s his arm in the video. Actually, I don’t even remember this happening and I’m pretty sure he spiked my Hill’s with Lysergic acid diethylamide. Asshole.
My roommates are always saying things to me like “No Elly” or “Get down Elly” or “Cut it out Elly” or “Stop eating that piece of trash Elly” or “Please for the love of God Elly stop biting and attacking my fingers oh the horror someone help”. Things like that. Whatever. I do what I want.
This is my cousin Bootsie and why does it look like he’s been eating dirt and/or shit? Gross, Bootsie.
Ack!
I’ll take one.
PleaseThankYou.
Me and my roommate josh looking hard as shit. Thug life.
Hill's Luxurious Cat Food for Cats with Delicate Stomachs
Let me tell you guys something - I live in what some would call the “lap of luxury”. I used to live under a car back when I was a scrappy kitten, till these hoes took me in. Dude, I eat like $70 dollars worth of cat food a month. SEVEN-ZERO dollars. Other cats get like two boxes of that busch league dry food a month. What’s that, like 20 bucks? Weak. Dry food makes my shit hard as a brick, real talk.
When I’m not ripping shit like a motherfucking hurricane, I’m looking fierce. As Lil’ Kim says,“Came up in this game on some modelin’ shit.”
What’s up jerks? Check out my Gratuitous Picture of Myself Wednesday submission. I’m just over here being a h4x0r and shit.
